This was an email that I sent to my Mother in law 2 days after the break up of my 1st Marriage. I tried my best to seem gracius and loving even though my husband left because he felt that my new diagnosis of Muscular Dystrophy was going to be a burden. A few days after this letter, Bob decided to make sure we would never be a family again. He attacked my 10yr old son with his little 8 yr old brother watching. It has had a ripple effect that we feel full strength 20+ years later.
His Family never did get involved or show interest in the boys. my advice is STILL to kill them with kindness and do whats best for the kids.
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| These are the boys at the ages of 10 and 7. |
Betty,
I WAS SURPRISED AND A BIT TO SEE YOU ALL SENT A CARD AND GIFT. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU BUT THERE WAS NO ANNIVERSARY AND THERE WONT BE AGAIN. THEY WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHO HAS BEEN TALKING TO BOB BUT IT WORKED. HE IS REALIZING THE CHAINS THAT BEING MARRIED TO A UNHEALTHY PERSON HAVE BEEN PULLING HIM UNDER. AND HE IS MISSING OUT ON HIS YOUTH. ( I guess I was a bit sarcastic in my 30's)
I ASSUME HE DIDN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND THE "IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH PART" OF THE WEDDING, BUT THAT'S FINE, I'VE KNOWN IT FOR A LONG TIME AND DON'T WANT TO FORCE HIM TO GIVE WHAT HE CAN'T. I WISH HIM THE BEST. WE WILL BE FRIENDLY AND HAVE AGREED TO MAKE IT CORPORATIVE AND AS POSITIVE FOR THE BOYS AS WE CAN.
I HAVE TWO THINGS I NEED TO ASK FOR FROM THE MASON FAMILY.
FIRST, YOU DON'T NEED TO LIKE ME, I DON'T MIND. BUT MY SONS DO. I WILL HAVE A STRICT RULE THAT NO ONE IN MY FAMILY (ESPECIALLY ME) WILL BE NEGATIVE OR DISRESPECT BOB IN ANY WAY, WHEN THEY ARE AROUND. ( I kept my promise )
I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THE SAME OF YOU. YOU ALL HAVE A RIGHT TO YOUR FEELINGS AND OPINIONS. I JUST FEEL STRONGLY THAT ANY NEGATIVE FEELINGS WILL FORCE THEM TO DEFEND ONE OF US AND IT'S NOT THEIR ISSUE. I WOULD APPRECIATE IT GREATLY.
SECOND, I WANT YOU ALL TO FEEL COMFORTABLE ATTENDING ANY SCHOOL FUNCTION, TAE KWONDO, OR CUBS CUB SCOUTS, or TAKE THEM FOR DINNER OR WEEKEND.
YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED, IT MEANS THE WORLD TO THEM, THEY WILL NEED ALL THE SUPPORT THEY CAN GET- I WILL DO MY BEST TO ARRANGE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE.
FOR THEIR SAKE I DON'T SEE WHY IT HAS TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE .
LAST CHRISTMAS IT WAS VERY HARD ON JESSE. HE FELT GUILTY ABOUT HAVING TO CHOOSE ONE OF US TO BE BY. (we broke up temporarily the year before. there were tons of promises that life would be better) I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT AGAIN.
NO WORRIES ABOUT HOLIDAYS, WE WILL DO TWO OF EVERYTHING.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CALL THEM AT ANY TIME.... FEEL FREE, I HAVE CALLER ID AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEAK TO ME.
THEY MISS YOU AND KNOW YOU DON'T CALL BECAUSE OF ME. 414-483-0091 PLEASE CONSIDER THE IDEA.
THAT IS ALL I WANTED TO SAY. I HOPE YOU ALL FIND PEACE AND HAPPINESS.
1-24-2016- I don't think I ever spoke to them again. they never accepted responsibility for their role with my sons. its a shame and has hurt them drastically but I stand by the theory of family involvement even when it hurts you to do it.
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